Time is gold. Time is precious. And time has helped me heal even the most tormenting experiences. One of these experiences, and most likely the most painful one, is this experience I had before... And perhaps, it is time to tell you my story...
It all started on one October morning. It was a Saturday, and for some odd reason I was in school. I saw a girl, whom I recognized as my bestfriends’ sister, a beautiful freshman, at the time. I fell in love with her the very first time I saw her. But, this is really the first time that I am able to talk to her. She went to me and asked for help. And that’s when it all started…
We quickly grew close to each other. She quickly got me involved in her predicament. Eventually, I was punished for it. But this was to ensure communication between us, which at the time was the only thing that mattered. So I let her borrow my phone. Who knew that she was banned from using phones, or any other forms of indirect communication? Her parents found out about it. And I had this scary experience with her dad in which the point of the whole conversation is for me to stay away from his daughter. Reluctantly, I agreed. No way was I going to do that… At least, not yet. I am very stubborn, because it’s just not right not to be able to talk to her… It pains me beyond reason. Unfortunately, things were made very hard for me. Everyone around her was told not to even let me near her… I had to think of another way… And so it came to an exchanging of letters. It went on for a while, until someone finally found out, and snitched on us. And this time, her parents gave a condition… If I ever, and they mean ever, communicate with her ever again, her schooling will be stopped. I was madly in love with her. My heart longed for her… But I cannot, I really cannot… For if I do, she will suffer…
One day, I saw her alone… That was after around 2 months of not being able to converse in any way at all. I saw this as an opportunity, and decided to take it. We spoke, it seemed like hours to me, for I was lost in her beauty. And it was truly an enjoyable moment, one I cannot forget. That is, until, her sister, of all people, saw us. My once bestfriend told their parents of course. And as expected, they carried out their threat. She was taken out of school, and I punished by the school. Not only did I lose any chance of being with her, but she might possibly have lost her future, and ultimately, her life… I was devastated… Months of guilt, depression, and regret. Of course it was my fault. For if I had just stayed away, none of this would’ve happened. But it had to happen. Had to be drawn by temptation…
Even though she was wrong in a lot of things, I still obeyed her, without question. For as they say, love is blind. The bible says in Proverbs 10:12 that "hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers all wrongs.” In that sense, my love masked all the sins that she has committed. Yes, I was blinded. But, even when I decided of my free will, I still chose her. And so it is indeed my fault. I made her pay for my selfish acts. I cannot even begin to understand what have I done wrong? Eventually, I came upon this verse, which helped me perceive my situation. This verse is located in Proverbs 3:5-6 and it goes as follows: “Trust in the Lord, with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Only God knows why this has happened, to both me and her, and I must trust in His decisions, even if I cannot understand His will. For His will is greater than mankind’s, and therefore I must simply surrender to Him. The verse 1 John 2:19 may possibly explain why, and it goes; “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.” Through this, I have learned to accept, and move on. I have done my part; the rest is up to you, o Lord!
No comments:
Post a Comment